Family Stories
Striking a Deal
My son Cameron and I usually have a tug of war with our ‘foster grandma’ Phyl. We both vie for her attention the minute she walks in the door. But our reasons for needing her attention are different. I need her to talk about my week, an incident, an event or sometimes just to off-load. Cameron needs her to play ‘pretend seat-belt’.
Now we’ve struck a deal: for the first 15 minutes of her time, Phyl will sit and have a cup of tea with me, then Cameron can have her all to himself. Of course, Cameron hangs around for each second of that 15 minutes—watching how quickly the tea is going down and reminding Phyl that he’s waiting for her.
Yes, we’ve developed a very special relationship with Phyl - one that’s built on trust, care, concern, mutual respect, understanding, empathy and appreciation. She comes to concerts, sports days and Grandparents Day at Cameron’s school and helps us out in lots of ways.
Cameron has an intellectual disability and epilepsy. Sometimes Phyl accompanies us to Cameron’s medical appointments so that we can spend time talking to the specialist without interruptions. Other times she gives Cameron his meals or attends to his personal care needs, which gives my husband Tony and I a break for a little while.
It’s so comforting to know that there is someone to talk to about the different stages of family life—they’ve already been there, done that and survived!
Lorraine Rodrigues (Parent)
Reprinted with permission of the Association for Children with a Disability
Quotes:
“Our daughter loves her foster grandmother!”
“Gives us time to go out ourselves… time out to relax.”
“Having someone else to talk to about his basketball, school, family etc. has been
very special for him.”
“We have no family in Australia so, without a doubt, it’s been great!”
“He can’t do without his foster grandma!”
“It’s lovely to have someone around the corner to lend a hand.”
“Carers, teachers come and go but foster grandparents move with him.”
